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'I'   June, 2019

I was born as a daughter of newspaper agency where I had been spending time during my childhood by 18 years old in Japan. My grandfather established it for local people who want to know what the world is going on. However, it seems to me that the era doesn’t need physical device of news anymore because of internet developing. My brother has been inheriting this newspaper agency after my father retired. This is the reality that my brother will close it. The news will reach to your hand, brain and your life naturally, unconsciously and leadingly with friendly behavior.

 

I used to work at textile trading company in Japan for a few years before I came to London. I have a degree of business administration and I already know how business person spend their life. Every morning we breath in the same carriage at 07:56 am. The guy who stand next to me eats a bread as his breakfast every day. The woman who sheets in front of me gaze her i-phone every day. Every Monday to Friday from January to December. Deeply quiet and the eye of them look like a cold stone. However, their eye shine like a diamond when they fill their desire esteem needs which is in their genes. Individuals happiness are not able to assumed by one aspect of behavior.

 

I have many friend who are belonging in the outside of the art world. Some of them are working as a mother. Some of them are working as a head of company. Some of them are working as a shop assistant. When I meet them and have a meal we are talking about the world where we gaze at the moment. The true nature of something are not so much different regardless any field of their life preference. However, it seems like that the field of art tend to behave their privilege that they are able to considered, critiqued, and excavated from the observatory even we are in the same sea.  

 

I studied at Goldsmiths, University of London for three years as a fine art student and graduated with first honours as a ‘fine art’ student. During college life, majority of student who are at Goldsmiths be forced thinking, critiquing and having a concept for our work. At least one student killed themselves per year when they were final year student. Whether this was they completed their philosophy or just they were in disease, we couldn’t reach the answer. To think is the just one of the way of explore. To think is the just one of the way of expand our world. To think is the just one of the way in our world which whole body of efforts made by human beings.

 

I was in Athene in 2017 in order to come to see the Documenta 14. Inside of the room was quite simple where are covered by six soundproofing materials. One video projection which was black and white, have no sound, the duration of video was around 26min, size of projection was moderate and nobody there was showed in ample space. I sat a long chair and watched the video, after a while, I realized that my tear flowed. I couldn’t explain why I am crying. I couldn’t explain using my language which I have been piling up since when I was born. However, this is a true that my hidden experience knocked at something without my brain. Then, I ask to me. ‘What is art’?

 

I know, this is the reality, newspaper agency which inherited from my grandparents will be closed because the period of times have changed. I know well. If, art is the translation through our own life. Art might be able to take the place of the position of this? Newspaper is constructed by not only share what happen in the world today, but also analyze and critique by numerous thought. Through multiple position of gaze, we might be able to realize where I stand in the world and what I am thinking. This is obviously not same as a news and information which automatically flowing into my phone with friendly smile.

 

The art work can beyond over our life. The art work can beyond over human being. This is not juxtaposition. This is not agenda. This is not sympathy. I am a machine, at the same time, I am a process for creating something.

© narutamao 2024

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